Teen Years

I think by the time I was a teenager some of the harsher realities were more obvious to me. Besides, realizing that everything wasn't a fairytale and that my parents struggled financially to make ends meet and to hold on to a marriage, I struggled with my self-esteem like most teens and I was completely oblivious of how beautiful I actually was. I struggled more with the absence of my birth father and felt little self worth as a teenager. But more than struggling with the divorce and feeling torn between two families... what made me feel ugly and not worthy was being molested by my uncle. I held on to that secret for almost 10 years before telling my Mother and 20 years before telling a Judge and Jury! I don't want to get into that very much other than to say I've struggled with my self image ever since and I had to rely on God to give me the courage and strength to forgive. Maybe that will be a future blog...

During my early teens I met and fell completely and hopelessly in love with John. I think about that night we met and over the last 20 years with him all the time. I often wonder if it was out of low self-esteem and the product of us feeding into eachother's insecurities that we fell for eachother or was it truely love at first sight?...I think it's funny looking back how God can take two completely messed up and awkward teenagers and transform them into a dynamic couple who eventually adopted 5 children from foster care! But I'm getting ahead of myself again...

I think the most significant experience in my life happened at 13 and progressed throughout my teen years and that was my relationship with God. I accepted Christ and I hungered to know everything about this God who completely loved me despite my insecurities and ugliness. It was during this time that I learned I was made for a purpose and that he knew me before I was ever born. He knew exactly what DNA make up he needed to create me in all my uniqueness. It helped me better understand that I was worthy and that despite all the bad things in my life....every single experience made me who I needed to be. I truely believe that without this truth I would have been one seriously messed up individual!

Those were the significant things about my teen years....the fun things about being a teenager in the 80's were...Big hair (yea for AquaNet!), sweaters that hung off the shoulders, rubber neon and black bracellets, wearing only one earing, leg warmers, reebok hightops, Jean jackets and acid wash jeans...watching TV shows like Silver Spoons, Who's the Boss, Growing Pains, Cosby Show, Family Ties and my personal favorite the beginning of MTV and VH1...ahhhh Depeche Mode, U2, Erasure, Boy George and Madonna! I was a true 80's girl! I looked like I stepped right out of the movie Flashdance as Jennifer Beals twin! I had big curly hair, big brown eyes and a gorgeous body. Of coarse like I said before I didn't appreciate the body much at the time! But being a teen in the 80's was pretty awesome! ( or should I say "bad", "like totally groovy dude", "fresh", "killer" or "sike!")

~Tiffany

A Magical Childhood

It's funny because although I had divorced parents growing up (which was challenging) I wouldn't change a thing about my childhood. I mean...without the divorce I would have never had my fantastic step parents or ANY of my siblings. I couldn't imagine my life without Sumara and Akira who made being a kid SO MUCH FUN! They were my side kicks....we were the Three Musketeers....we did just about everything together and we had some pretty great adventures as city kids in Sacramento,California. So many things we explored...like the sewer tunnels and under the freeway bridges and my personal favorite....The Back Yards and Neighbors Yards we would turn into Secret Gardens behind the trees and bushes! My sister and I would make sour grass spagetti (YUM!) and Mud pies. We would stay outside in the extreme summer heats until evening when we would return home with dirt and sun streaked faces ready for our cool baths and bedtime stories our Mother would ALWAYS read us! Life was good.

It never seemed to bother us that our parents had to both work all day and we were home alone. We never felt alone because we had eachother. Nor did we have the slightest cares about money being tight or bills not getting paid....we never worried about it because somehow my parents always managed to keep our tummies full and our minds preoccupied with all the fairytales my Mom told us! She had the ability to take any ordinary thing and make it magical.

I remember on my 5th Birthday we were living in an apartment in Santa Ana and my Mom was pregnant with my sister Sumara. We had very little money and we went outside and picked roses from our neighbors garden and I was wearing a pretty white dress I had worn as a flower girl in my Auntie's wedding. I was pretending to be a princess in the garden and my Mom totally got into it with me. She put flowers in my hair and she... started singing "And...he walked with me and he talked with me....Once upon a dream...." from the fairytale sleeping beauty! When we went home she decorated a simply homemade white cake with all the pretty flowers! It was so beautiful! I don't remember the few friends that came or if I got a gift...all I remember was twirling around in my princess dress to My Mom singing...and that magical birthday cake she made me.

I also remember one night when my brother Akira who was only like 3 crawling up into her lap with the book the Frog prince and she would make all the characters voices in different pitches. It was great! My brother would laugh everytime she talked like the frog! Yep even though times were hard for my parents financially and in everyway as an adult....they made a very secure, loving and magical life for a child. It just proves that prior to x boxes, PSP's, ipods, cell phones, texting, laptops and the internet....life as a kid wasn't boring or deprived. We had everything we needed with just our imaginations and our Mother.

~Tiffany