Teen Years

I think by the time I was a teenager some of the harsher realities were more obvious to me. Besides, realizing that everything wasn't a fairytale and that my parents struggled financially to make ends meet and to hold on to a marriage, I struggled with my self-esteem like most teens and I was completely oblivious of how beautiful I actually was. I struggled more with the absence of my birth father and felt little self worth as a teenager. But more than struggling with the divorce and feeling torn between two families... what made me feel ugly and not worthy was being molested by my uncle. I held on to that secret for almost 10 years before telling my Mother and 20 years before telling a Judge and Jury! I don't want to get into that very much other than to say I've struggled with my self image ever since and I had to rely on God to give me the courage and strength to forgive. Maybe that will be a future blog...

During my early teens I met and fell completely and hopelessly in love with John. I think about that night we met and over the last 20 years with him all the time. I often wonder if it was out of low self-esteem and the product of us feeding into eachother's insecurities that we fell for eachother or was it truely love at first sight?...I think it's funny looking back how God can take two completely messed up and awkward teenagers and transform them into a dynamic couple who eventually adopted 5 children from foster care! But I'm getting ahead of myself again...

I think the most significant experience in my life happened at 13 and progressed throughout my teen years and that was my relationship with God. I accepted Christ and I hungered to know everything about this God who completely loved me despite my insecurities and ugliness. It was during this time that I learned I was made for a purpose and that he knew me before I was ever born. He knew exactly what DNA make up he needed to create me in all my uniqueness. It helped me better understand that I was worthy and that despite all the bad things in my life....every single experience made me who I needed to be. I truely believe that without this truth I would have been one seriously messed up individual!

Those were the significant things about my teen years....the fun things about being a teenager in the 80's were...Big hair (yea for AquaNet!), sweaters that hung off the shoulders, rubber neon and black bracellets, wearing only one earing, leg warmers, reebok hightops, Jean jackets and acid wash jeans...watching TV shows like Silver Spoons, Who's the Boss, Growing Pains, Cosby Show, Family Ties and my personal favorite the beginning of MTV and VH1...ahhhh Depeche Mode, U2, Erasure, Boy George and Madonna! I was a true 80's girl! I looked like I stepped right out of the movie Flashdance as Jennifer Beals twin! I had big curly hair, big brown eyes and a gorgeous body. Of coarse like I said before I didn't appreciate the body much at the time! But being a teen in the 80's was pretty awesome! ( or should I say "bad", "like totally groovy dude", "fresh", "killer" or "sike!")

~Tiffany